Over Break

I feel so cold. A space heater isn't nearly fulfilling the warmth I'm searching for.

It's spring break, and I have a week off from school. I returned home. My birthday is literally in twenty minutes. And I still feel empty. I'm a second term sophomore in college, so I've been home a few times, as well as lived on my own in the dorms. But this is the first real time where I'm realizing that I don't have a home. I have people who love me, and I love to see them from time to time. But I no longer know the meaning of the word "home."

I have an apartment now, but it's still too early to figure out if it's "home" or not. Sure, I'll be living there from now on, and I won't visit the family again unless it's a holiday or if I'm in serious trouble. But is it where I belong? The truth is, I don't belong anywhere. Or if I do, I don't know where that is, or when I'll find it. One thing I know for certain though - this is not my home. That slightly depresses me.